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I would destroy my television and burn the house down before I yell McDonald’s to keep watching something.

I actually think about plungers quite a bit. If I notice someone has a sink plunger instead of a toilet plunger, I immediately and forever judge the shit out of them.

I tried to fix it. Meh.

Didn’t they change the bag material recently to be quieter? I vaguely remember seeing something about that in the news.

Identity theft is not a joke, Jim.

I’d probably have an audiobook going. Then when I got there, I would probably have to sit in the car for a few minutes to get to a good stopping point. I’m sure the kidnappers would understand.

I noticed you didn’t deny the bunnies and pigs running the post office or the cute fox as a mayor. So I’m just gonna say that yeah, it’s mostly true.

Conversely, driving a Tesla also makes you a target for aggressive driving. The number of people who feel threatened by EVs is astonishing and many are not afraid to let you know about it via cutting you off, tailgating you, or refusing to let you merge.

Is this a serious comment? Teslas are waaaay less efficient over 70 mph. Going 90 mph absolutely destroys your miles/kWh.

One of my neighbors named their daughter “Stormy” after Odd Thomas’s >!dead!< girlfriend. When I asked him if he and his wife were big fans of the books, he said that they’d never read the books before. But they’d seen the movie.

He told me this several years ago and it still annoys me to this day.

For anyone else who was out of the loop, this is a joke from the IT Crowd when (in the show) England was changing their emergency services numbers:

From today, dialing 999 won’t get you the emergency services. And that’s not the only thing that’s changing. Nicer ambulances, faster response times and better-looking drivers mean they’re not just the emergency services — they’re your emergency services. So, remember the new number: 0118 999 881 999 119 725… 3.

Edit: Edited for clarification that this was a joke in the show and England did not change their emergency services number IRL.

I’m close to that too, but I think mine was 13 years. The weird thing that I’ve noticed is that most of the time I was on Reddit, almost no one I talked to in real life used Reddit. I struggled for years to try to get people to check the site out. Now that I left, I swear I hear someone I know mention Reddit exponentially more often. The average person doesn’t give a damn about how shitty the platform has become, because they weren’t around to see what it used to be. The average person WANTS to see ads interspersed with their cookie cutter content with stupid ass features like chat and followers. Good riddance.

My favorite thing about Lemmy is that you can comment on an article that’s several hours old and get responses. Reddit was so big that if you didn’t comment on major articles within a couple minutes of being posted, your comment would get buried under a thousand other comments and would never be seen. Commenting became a game of which top level comment you could possibly sneak your comment as a response to, even if it wasn’t really a “response” to what the person had said, just to get your comment seen and have a chance at sparking a discussion.